Downsizing

Just as I was getting into the routine of walking every morning, I get a flat tire in my jogging stroller. I've been taking morning walks almost every morning, of course I skip a few days here and there. Today, I ended up walking 3 miles. Why? Because I wanted a Starbucks. I decided that if I was going to get one, I would have to work for it. So what did I do? I walked half way across town to get one. Let's just say that I'm not going to go that route again until I'm more in shape. The whole way there I walked uphill, and the whole way home I had the sun beating down on me. Hot? I think so. Anyways, when I got to Starbucks I decided to get a frappacino instead of a pumpkin spice latte because it was way too hot for a hot drink. I ordered a small, instead of a large like I usually get, because I didn't want my entire walk to be pointless. I got my drink, and after I took my first sip I felt guilty. Did I really need this fattening drink? I threw it away. Yes, it was a waste of money, but it was for a good cause. I walked all the way home in the hot hot heat, and was happy for myself for the first time in a long time. Instead of rewarding myself with a delicious Starbucks, I rewarded myself with a healthy choice. It felt great. As I was walking up to my apartment, I noticed my stroller was moving a little weird, but didn't think anything of it. Later today as I was getting my wallet from my stroller, I realized that the back tire was flat. Whether it was because it needed to be pumped with air or because I need a whole new tire, I don't know. I guess I'll have to figure it out tomorrow. Sadly, this may mean that tomorrow I will be skipping my morning walk.

A cool picture I took this morning on my walk

Before having a baby, you hope and pray that nothing will change between you and your friends. It's sad to know that the people who I trusted to be there for me have vanished, even the people who I used to call my "best friends." They didn't vanish instantly. As soon as Jayde was born, everyone was dieing to see her. Not only did I have my friends visiting, but I had all of these people who I hadn't talked to in years coming to my house to see my mini-me. Then, after about two months, things started to slow down. I am not completely blaming them, because I know that I was busy and that a lot of my time was consumed by my brand new daughter. But when the "newborn" stage was over, and I was eager to get out of the house to spend some time with someone other than a baby, no one was there. Of course not every single person was gone, I still had people who where more than happy to hang out with me and Jayde. I knew that my social life would decline after having a baby, but never in a million years did I think that some of my best friends would just vanish; stop calling me and texting me, not returning my calls or texts. I wonder if people think that just because I'm a mom that I'm all the sudden not the same person. Just because I have responsibilities and I had to grow up a little faster than your average 21 year old, doesn't mean that I'm not Michelle. A few months ago, thinking of this subject was difficult. Now that I have had time to realize that they obviously weren't my true friends, it has helped me grow stronger. I realize that friendships work two ways and that if they aren't willing to put it any effort, then I was done putting in effort too. With all of this said, I am so very thankful for all of the wonderful friends that have been there for me through my crazy journey of motherhood. You are all so amazing, and I promise that I will always be there for you through all of your changes just as you are here for me.

Me, Jayde, and my best friend FOREVER :) I hate that she lives so far!

 Jayde has been doing wonderful, she is such a happy baby. I don't know how I got so lucky, but I am so grateful. She is still doing her military crawl, and doesn't have much interest in learning how to crawl regularly. What she is really interested in is learning how to walk. She can pretty much balance herself on my hands or an object without me holding on to her, and she has even lifted herself up to a standing position by herself. I know I say this every post, but it is crazy how much she changes from day to day. I can't even imagine her walking, although I know she will be running around sooner than I can even imagine.

Jayde happily standing without my help.

 Jayde's sleeping habits are wonderful. I put her down for bed at 7:00pm with no crying and she sleeps completely through the night until 7:00am. She is still sleeping 12 hours at night, which means that there still isn't much napping. I have gotten used to this, and I am OK with it. If she was in a bad mood, having to deal with her all day would bother me. But since she is usually in a good mood and can entertain herself for parts of the day, her being awake is no longer an issue. There usually is a 20-30 minute time period in the middle of the day where we will have a "quiet time." During this time, I turn off all the lights and anything that makes noise and put her into her swing with a sippy cup filled with water. I will lay on the couch, and we will both just relax. My favorite part of the day is her breast milk snack in between lunch and dinner. We will both lay in my bed and she will feed for about 30 minutes while she dozes off a little bit. I usually end up dozing off too, with her cuddled up next to me. The best part is her climbing on me to wake me up. As I open my eyes, I am greeted with her huge smile and her beautiful face. It is a beautiful thing.

A unique moment- Jayde is taking a nap!

Lately I have been slacking with making her food. The reason for this is because I get about 80 free jars of baby food a month from the local WIC office. Originally, I was giving the food to my friend until I realized that 80 jars of food is a lot. As much as I hate giving her jar food, it is saving us tons of money. It is just hard for me to accept this because I was so determined to feed her only fresh foods. Every time I feed her a jar of baby food, I feel like a bad mother. Even though I feed her Earth's Best, a trusted organic baby food brand, it just doesn't feel right to me. I plan of feeding her more fresh foods and cutting down on the baby food jars regardless how convenient they are. Luckily, she won't be eating baby food purees for too much longer and I won't have to worry about any of this.