21 at last.

In a few more days I will be 21 years old, the age I have always dreamed about is finally here. Now that it is only four days away, it doesn’t seem as exciting as I had anticipated. Sure, it will be cool because I will be able to buy alcohol legally. When I go out to eat at restaurants and the waiter asks if I would like a glass of wine, I can accept his offer. Also, I can feel all grown up when I ask my friends, “Hey, do you want to go out for drinks?” Maybe now that I’m a mom, I have more exciting things to look forward to other than drinking- my daughter crawling, talking, taking her first steps- now that is something to look forward to. Maybe it's not exciting because of the fact that I'm breastfeeding and have to monitor what I drink. Maybe it’s not exciting because being a mom has made me feel more grown up than drinking a glass of wine ever will. Regardless, turning 21 is a lifetime milestone.

I think the main reason I'm not excited for my birthday is because I feel so stressed out about it. I have to make sure I have all this extra milk pumped, and right now I have NOTHING. On Saturday, I'm going out to lunch with my mom and I plan on having one drink. Only one, because I need to make sure I can feed Jayde before I head to San Francisco. (I can feed Jayde 2.5 hours after having a drink.) I'm going to put her to bed before I leave for the night to make myself feel better, so I really only need to make sure she has milk for if she wakes up at night and also for in the morning. The even more stressful part is next Saturday, the 27th, because Keith and I will be heading out to Sacramento to have dinner at The Melting Pot. Obviously, I'm not going to bring Jayde because it will be late and I will be drinking. She will be spending the night at my mothers house. THAT is the thing that stresses me out the most. I have so many concerns; what if I don't leave enough milk, what if she doesn't go to sleep, what if she cries the whole time. The thing that actually concerns me the most is that my sister will be there. I can already see her fussing about not being able to feed Jayde a bottle or waking her up while she's sleeping. Even though I'm so stressed, concerned, and nervous about leaving her with my mom, I have decided that it is the best choice. I much rather leave Jayde with her grandma since she knows her well. If she does happen to wake up in the middle of the night, I'm sure she would be terrified seeing someone unfamiliar. I've already talked to my mom about my concerns with my sister, and she has promised to keep everything under control. For the not sleeping part, I assume that at some point she has to fall asleep, right?

Jayde has tried almost all fruits and vegetables for the most part, so now the fun begins! I finally get to make real recipes with more than one ingredient for her to eat. Starting next week, I plan on giving her new multi-tasting food.  Along with feeding her fun recipes, I will start feeding her two meals a day instead of one. It’s going to be crazy because I know by adding another meal I will be taking out a breast milk feeding. Right now I have tons of food containers for Jayde in my freezer. Even though it seems like it is a lot, I know it really isn't with how much she eats! Most of the recipes I have for her are a mixture of things she has already tried, maybe with one new ingredient. The thing I'm most interested in her trying is chicken. I made a puree called "fruity sweet chicken," which has chicken, sweet potatoes, butternut squash, and apples. Unlike fruit and vegetables, chicken has a distinct taste and texture. So, we will have to see how she takes to her new food!

My stash of baby food in the freezer.

In about a month, Jayde will be ready to eat more solid formed foods (chunks of banana, cheerios, cubes of fruit/veggies, etc.) I am seriously SO nervous. What if she chokes? I know the Heimlich and infant CPR just in case, but I really do hope I never have to do those things! How is she suppose to know how to bite a piece off and then chew it before swallowing? I’m sure it’s instinct, but STILL! Yesterday, my mom and I let Jayde try an arrowroot cookie. She absolutely loved it. she was able to gum them easily because the cookie melted in her mouth. The only thing bad about this is that I was freaking out! Jayde would bite off a big chunk and sometimes even shove the whole cookie in her mouth somehow. My mom would have to take it out of her mouth because I was so nervous about her choking. Even though she enjoyed it, I think that I will wait to introduce the cookies until a little later. I guess I'm the one who isn't ready...

Jayde eating an arrowroot cookie.

Jayde hasn't outgrown her baby bathtub, but every time she takes a bath she manages to get my entire kitchen wet. She splashes, throws her toys onto the floor, and tries to grab everything on the counters. Because of this, I have decided to move her into the big bath in the bathroom. The experience is... interesting. She refuses to be in the bath by herself, even with all the bath toys that she has. The only way I am able to get her to take a bath is by getting in the tub with her. Today I bought a faucet cover and a colorful mat for the bottom of the tub, so I am hoping that maybe it will disguise the scariness of the tub to look like a fun place. I can't continue to take baths with her for too long. It's such a small place for both of us, and by the time I'm done washing her my legs are completely cramped. Hopefully, I will be able to get her to start taking baths by herself.

I have been trying to do fun things with Jayde since she rarely takes nap. Even if it's something as simple as taking her on a walk to the store instead of driving there. I just learned that there is a park somewhat close to the apartment, so I sometimes take her down there to take her swinging. Not only does she love the outdoors, but it stimulates her. I feel the the more I teach her and show her, the more she will learn. She loves taking walks, swimming, swinging, and even doing something as simple as laying on the blanket in the grass. Seeing how happy she is doing all of these things makes me happy too.

Feeding the ducks!

Swinging in the park.

Oh, and did I mention I finally got some piggy paint?!?!?!?!?!?

First pedicure :)