The bittersweetness of SIX months.

Half of a year is 6 months, and that is how old my daughter is. I cannot believe half of Jayde's very first year has already past, it's definitely bitter sweet. There are good things about her being 6 months. She can sit up by herself, I can leave her in a room and she can entertain herself while I wash the dishes, she can sit in the "big girl" part of the shopping cart, and eat food. Ahhh yes, eat FOOD. She no longer depends solely on me to give her all nutrition anymore. Breastfeeding only gets easier from here. From this point on, the days where she demands to get nourishment from my boob are slowly coming to an end! In 6 more months, I will be to eat all the junk food I want and get belligerently drunk. Well, that is, if I really wanted to. Which to be honest, I don't. But, the option is always there.

Jayde sitting in the "big girl" part of the cart. Can't you see she HATES it?!

There is ONE thing that is sad about her being 6 months, and that is that she growing up so quickly! As listed above, she can do so many things. Just think, 6 months ago she could do absolutely nothing. It's amazing how much she has learned in just the short amount of time she has been here. In 6 more months she will be crawling, speaking her first words, and possibly even walking. And let's face it. Even though I'm sitting here and day dreaming of the day I won't be breast feeding anymore, I know when that day comes that I will be missing feeding her terribly. While these are all wonderful things, they are also sad. In just a few more months, my baby girl won't be a baby anymore.  Six months is such a beautiful age. They can be independent without yet crawling and getting into everything and they can laugh & babble with you without being able to talk back yet. If I had a choice to pause at any age, it would defiantly be 6 months.

With 6 months come a horrible experience, teething. Keith and I have always thought that Jayde was going to get a tooth early because at 2.5 months she was already showing all the symptoms; drooling and chewing. Still, there is no tooth in sight. Now, we are pretty sure that she is officially teething. She has been cranky, not sleeping well, and she has been chewing intensely on absolutely everything in sight. Including my finger which at this point is raw. Hopefully those teeth will come soon! In the meantime, I am prepared with all the teething rings, gel, rags, and toys imaginable.

Three days ago Jayde got her very first case of the stomach flu. It was probably the worst thing I have experienced in a very long time. It all started when I was about to leave the house. Jayde was in her car seating waiting for me by the door while I was checking to make sure all of the lights in the house where off. While I was in the other room, I heard this large spill of liquid. Confused, I looked back over at Jayde. She was sitting there completely covered in what looked like spit it. Her whole body and car seat was covered! I grabbed her, changed her cloths, cleaned her off in the sink, and started ripping apart her car seat so I could clean in. Afterwards, I walked over to where she was playing and picked her up. I walked into the kitchen with her in my arms to grab a glass of water, and she spit up large amounts of liquid again, twice. It was crazy how much liquid there was. I knew at this point that this wasn't spit up. The way it was coming out of her mouth and the amount of it led me to believe she was vomiting.

I changed my clothes, changed Jayde's clothes again for the second time, and then dialed the number for the advice nurse. After speaking to her, she told me that she was pretty sure that Jayde was indeed vomiting. She told me what to do, feed her every 20 minutes to keep her hydrated (breast milk and Pedialyte), and then we hung up. Immediately I called my mom, who was at work, and told her what was going on. I wanted to her to come over after she was off work to be with me and Jayde and to bring over some Pedialyte. While I was talking to her, Jayde started vomiting again. This time she threw up about 4 times. To say that I was freaking out would be an understatement. I was crying and screaming at my mom that she needed to come over RIGHT NOW. She couldn't, and she told me to call my step mom to help me calm down.

I called my step mom and she told me that she would come over with my dad to bring some Pedialyte. While waiting, Jayde fell asleep in my arms. I think that this made me even more sad and made me realize how sick she actually was. If you know Jayde, you know that she doesn't sleep, ever. My dad and Jeane came over for a little bit, then my mom came over when she got off work. I must say that I am so very thankful to have family close by. It gives me a piece of mind knowing that I have people to depend on when Keith is at work. Her getting sick was definitely scary, but I know that there will be plenty more times like these in the future.

Number 30

Call me a paranoid, crazy, obsessed, creepy, or whatever else comes to mind. I, Michelle Hanson, have a baby monitor with a camera on it so I can look at Jayde in her crib while she sleeps. No, I do not sit there and stare at her all night long. It's just something that gives me a piece of mind. I sleep better with it on my night stand, and I'm sure Jayde sleeps better without me barging into her room to check on her while she's trying to get her beauty sleep. Friday night I woke up at about 2:00 in the morning and went to the kitchen to get some water. When I laid back in bed and glanced over at the monitor I noticed that Jayde's little legs where flailing up in the air. Was she crying? No. I rolled over onto my side thought to myself, "I'll just go back to sleep until I hear her start crying." I woke up about 45 minutes later to silence assuming she was sleeping. When I looked at the monitor, there she was, still awake. It was weird to me that she had been up for almost an hour without making a peep. What was even weirder was what she was doing while awake; rolling around in her crib from her back to stomach while doing some short intervals of intense tummy time. I was probably watching her while laying in bed for a good 15 minutes in amusement. I then decided to wake Keith up and show him her crazy behavior. After playing around in her crib for an hour, Jayde decided to stop and lay her head down the exact moment Keith woke up and looked at the monitor. He must have thought that I was either dreaming or going crazy. Last night I woke up briefly and saw Jayde moving around in her crib again, this time I didn't stay up to watch the show.

Why is Jayde having periods of the night where she is actively awake and playing in the crib? I don't think I will ever be able to answer that question. What I do know is that I am very thankful that she keeps her awake time to herself and doesn't feel the need to wake me up with her. The only thing that does concern me is that fact that these last two nights she has been sleeping on her stomach. I do put her on her back when I put her to sleep. I do remember the doctor telling me that there is nothing I can do if she chooses to sleep on her stomach or side rather than her back. I do know that since Jayde can roll over and push up on her arms that she can protect herself from suffocation. And I do know that Jayde has past the age in which SIDS is at it's peak. (For those who don't know, SID deaths occur in babies between the age of 2-4 months. It rarely occurs before 1 month or after 6 months of age.) But still, it is only natural that I continue to worry.

On Friday was Jayde's very first Go-See. At first, I didn't think we were going to be able to go because the labor office was taking their time in processing her entertainer's work permit. However, after stressing all week, I finally talked to her agent and she informed me that I was able to go to go-sees without her work permit and that I just needed to have it for shoots. The night before the go-see I planned on going to bed early so we could get an early start. However, Jayde had other plans in mind. She was being the most difficult baby that night. I wasn't able to get her to go to sleep until about 11:30pm, which is way past her 7:00pm bedtime. Not only that, but she decided that she was going to choose this night to wake up for a feeding. The next morning I woke up exhausted. The go-see was anytime between 9:00am and 12:00pm and Keith and I had planned on being there at 9:00 since our agent said it was going to be a busy one. We also wanted to stop and get some breakfast on the way there so we planned to leave at about 7:00am. Let's just say that nobody was out of bed before 7:30am. Keith and I quickly got ready and then woke Jayde up to get her ready. We ended up leaving at about 8:15am to head out to Richmond and we were able to still get there early.

Our agent told us to not be there too early because we could overwhelm the client. While waiting in my car I saw a few other moms walking in the building with their kids, so I decided that I would go in a little earlier then I had planned. When I checked in, there were already 29 people ahead of me. (Jayde was number 30.) Most of the time spent there is just you waiting for your number to be called. I'm not going to lie, it was a little hectic. I think the reason for it being hectic was because it was all new to me, next time I will be more prepared on what to expect. I think the experience would have been better if the lid didn't pop off my Jamba Juice. Thank god the company didn't see me spill my Caribbean Passion all over their waiting room floor. At least I had to courtesy to clean it up. It would have also been a lot easier if I didn't keep loosing Jayde's measurement sheet. First it dropped out of my baby bag, then I left it in my car when I went out there to change Jayde's diaper. It was just a disaster. Having to clean up Jamba Juice, keep track of a piece of paper, and listening for your number while holding a baby and a diaper bag in a crowded room is stressful! Other than that, everything else was great! All they really do at go-sees is take measurements and then take a picture of your baby in an outfit from their clothing line. All the employees at Le Top where very nice. I can't say that Jayde for sure got the shoot because there were at least 100 other kids there. I can say that the everyone adored her and that she looked cute in their clothes that she had to try on. Even if Jayde doesn't get the shoot, it was good for us to go and see what everything is all about.  Next time, I'll skip the smoothie and bring a folder to keep the measurement sheet in.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Saturday night I went out to dinner with some friends. I left at about 4:00 in the afternoon, which meant that Keith was going to have to put Jayde to bed without me being there. I wasn't nervous about leaving her with Keith, but I was nervous about me not being there since I've always been the one to put her into her crib at night. Usually if I go out to meet with friends I will put her to sleep before leaving. Jayde's bedtime is at about 7:00pm, so at about 6:45pm I called Keith to see how everything was going. She was already in bed when I called because she was tired, but she would not fall asleep. I ended up getting home at about 8:20pm and of course she was STILL awake. Even though she wasn't crying, I went in her room to let her know I was home. She was obviously happy to see me with her huge smile, so I picked her up to give her some hugs and then I put her back into bed and kissed her goodnight. I walked out of the room and said jokingly to Keith, "watch, Jayde will go to sleep now that she knows that her mommy is home." I checked on her literally 2 minutes later and she was fast asleep. I thought that it was one of the cutest things ever, I almost cried. At the same time, it made me feel like a teenager all over again. Except this time around I had to check in with my baby instead of my mom when I got home.

One of my favorite pictutes, I just had to post it!

Jayde eating food is going awesome. She has tried apples, bananas, squash, and green beans. She loved the apples, squash, and bananas! However, green beans were a different story. She took the first bite willingly and she was shocked. She had this horrible look on her face and then she started gagging, I really thought she was going to throw up. I tried to make her take a few more bites, but she refused. I ended up feeding her green beans for two more days after the first attempt. She did get better at eating them eventually, but it was obvious that she wasn't fond of them. I think in order for her to eat green beans I will have to disguise them by mixing it with another vegetable. Her favorite food so far has been squash. When I fed it to her she ate 2 whole servings, which is about 3-4 oz! I don't know if she legitimately liked the squash or if  it was just because she was so happy that she wasn't getting green beans again.

Jayde doesn't like green beans- can you tell?

I am obsessed with making Jayde's baby food, it's a little bit ridiculous. Last Thursday Keith and I went to the Farmer's Market and bought squash, sweet potato, green beans, and carrots for me to puree. I was literally in the Kitchen all night preparing her baby food to store in the freezer, I will probably be good on baby food for at least a month! The Baby Brezza makes it so damn easy! I literally wash and chop each item and then throw it into the food processor. It steams and then purees everything together. I can walk out of the kitchen and when I come back everything is done. The clean up is easy too. There isn't a million pots and kitchen utensils to clean up, just the Brezza! I highly recommend it for anyone who is planning to make baby food by scratch. Yes, it is a little expensive, but it is completely worth every penny! ( Wow, I totally just sounded like a Brezza sales person.) I am so happy that I have committed to making Jayde's baby food by scratch. With all the breastfeeding and fresh food, I am going to have the healthiest baby in town! Well, so I hope.

My very first puree, apples!

Speaking of breastfeeding, everything is going good for the most part! There are only 2 things that have been bothering me:
1. In all honesty, it SUCKS to be breastfeeding during the summer time. By the time Jayde is done eating, we are both completely covered in sweat from all the skin to skin contact. I'm not gonna lie, it is absolutely disgusting!
2. I always pump because it gives me a piece of mind to always have some stored milk in the freezer. However, lately I've been hating pumping because it has been ruining my boobs! My nipple is literally dried out and peeling, I think that when I pump it rubs against the flange. I know that this usually means that your using the wrong size flange, but I have tried every size and nothing seems to make it better. I have also been putting Lanolin on my nipples and although it seems to be helping a little, it still hurts! It all started when the weather changed to being hot. Maybe I need to increase my water intake? We will try and see if that works..

Jayde has reached yet another milestone. She can now SIT!!!!!! When people say that babies are awake and eat more before reaching a big milestone, they aren't kidding. I think it's because their brain is going through some sort of growth spurt. I was starting to get frustrated because the week before she learned to sit up by herself she was literally waking up every night, sometimes even twice. Then, all of the sudden, one day she was sitting all by herself. After that, she went back to sleeping through the night like the little angel she is. Not only that, but she has even been napping more frequently, which is very unusual for her. It so crazy how babies can't do something one day and then the next they can.

My baby girl is growing up, sitting all by herself!